Methodists, marriage and why it matters - OTN Coordinator Kieran Bohan responds on BBC local radio
Revd Sonia Hick, President of the Methodist Conference 2021-22.
Read her address to the Methodist Conference, Saturday 26th June 2021.
PHOTO: Methodist Church
THIS MORNING, BBC local radio’s Sunday faith programmes were talking about the upcoming vote at the Methodist Conference about whether they’ll agree to allow same sex weddings to be held on Methodist premises.
Stations across England played a couple of short clips of Rev Sonia Hicks, the new President of the Methodist conference, explaining why and how they’ve reached this point, then asked me for a response. Here’s a summary of what I said (or intended to say!)
How significant would it be if this is approved next week by the Methodists?
The report on which Conference is voting, God In Live Unites Us, made three recommendations:
an understanding of ‘good relating’ as a way of thinking about loving relationships
an understanding of cohabitation, officially recognising that it too may be a form of relationship in which God’s love is found, and potentially a stage along the way to more formal commitment
to allow Methodist ministers (and other appropriate people) who feel it is the right thing to do to celebrate same-sex marriages, and to allow same-sex marriages to take place in Methodist churches which decide that this is what they want to do.
Conference in 2019 voted strongly in favour, but these votes were only provisional, and were sent out for consultation to the 30 Methodist Districts across Britain. Out of the 30 Districts, 29 have voted in favour, most of those with very strong majorities. The Conference is still free to vote in whatever way it thinks is right (which could include amending or rejecting any of the recommendations) but the signs look very encouraging. Assuming the recommendations are passed, it will then be for local Methodist Churches to decide how they want to proceed: some will feel it right to offer same-sex marriage as soon as possible, others will need time to think, and others will be clear that would not be the right step for them. All would remain Methodists in good standing. (I’m grateful to Revd Mark Rowland from Dignity and Worth, the LGBT+ advocacy charity within the Methodist Church, for providing this background in a recent blog for OTN).
It’s an example of how these conversations and decisions may be well conducted, at a time when the Church of England continues to debate Identity, Sexuality, Relationships and Marriage in its parallel process, called Living In Love And Faith. Anglicans tend to talk about ‘good disagreement’, whereas Methodists have an understanding called ‘fellowship of controversy’, which is better because the focus is on fellowship, not disagreement.
If it goes ahead, the Methodist Church could be the largest denomination to support same-sex marriages on its premises. We also have Open Table communities in our network hosted in Baptist and United Reformed Churches - they already have the option to conduct same-sex weddings if they wish, but that decision is taken at a local level.
Why was the Open Table Network formed?
The first Open Table community began because many churches and their congregations do not easily, kindly or honestly welcome LGBT+ people, therefore, many LGBT+ people have nowhere spiritually to belong. Recent research provides evidence for the need for ministries like Open Table:
59% of LGBT+ young people interested in joining a religious organisation have stopped or reduced their involvement owing to their sexuality or gender identity (Youth Chances, METRO 2016).
A third of lesbian, gay and bi people of faith (32 per cent) aren’t open with anyone in their faith community about their sexual orientation. One in four trans people of faith (25 per cent) aren’t open about who they are in their faith community. Only two in five LGBT people of faith (39 per cent) think their faith community is welcoming of lesbian, gay and bi people. Just one in four LGBT people of faith (25 per cent) think their faith community is welcoming of trans people. (LGBT in Britain: Home & Communities, Stonewall 2017)
Members of our communities are significantly more likely to experience poor mental health, which research has shown relates explicitly to discriminatory pastoral practices of local churches, and the Church’s substantial contribution to negative attitudes in society (In the Name of Love, Oasis Foundation 2017).
'LGBQ+ Christians surveyed rated their mental and emotional health and well-being as significantly lower than their heterosexual peers, especially those who had undergone 'conversion therapy' in an attempt to alter their sexual orientation' (National Faith & Sexuality Survey, Ozanne Foundation 2018).
We didn’t start as a network. We started in June 2008, thirteen years ago this month, as a gathering of just six LGBT+ people at an Anglican church in Liverpool. Those six people (of whom I was one) came from different Christian traditions - Church of England, Catholic, United Reformed, and Methodist churches! We were drawn by our need to worship as ourselves. What happened then - and what still happens in all our communities - is that we help one another in integrating our spiritual identity with our sexual and gender identities. This was - and still is - incredibly affirming for those who have been suffering an inner conflict.
We met once a month, to share Communion (bread and wine in remembrance of Jesus’ last meal with his friends) and to begin to create a ‘safe’ space for LGBT people, who typically haven’t been well served in mainstream churches. To us ‘safe’ means: affirming, honest, empathic, unconditionally loving environments where LGBT+ people of faith can explore personal and spiritual growth through developing relationships with others who understand the unique barriers we face.
At the first meeting to plan these Communion services, someone asked ‘Will it be “open table”? And we loved the phrase. It sums up a Communion in which everyone can take part without exclusion, judgement or a test of belonging or ‘worthiness’. Many LGBT+ people have been excluded, or fear exclusion, from this central act of hospitality of our Christian faith and story. We have called ourselves Open Table ever since, as a sign of our commitment to making sure everyone is more than welcome.
People across the country began to hear of us, particularly since July 2015 when Bishop of Liverpool Paul Bayes began to support us publicly, and to join us to lead Communion services and walk with us at Pride in Liverpool. He is now a Patron of the Open Table Network, one of several notable Christians who identify as LGBT+, or as allies, who advocate for our Network, speaking about us and supporting us in the public eye.
How you work with the churches that you currently partner with?
Our second community began in Warrington in 2015. We now have 18 OTN communities across England and Wales, hosted by churches from five difference traditions, belonging with us formally within our respectful, loving, safeguarding guidelines. We are a registered charity now too, since March 2021.
Each Open Table community meets as separate gatherings - but we are all part of one body. Many more churches are also considering joining the Open Table Network - and we support them as they find their way forward with God’s help.
We share our vision, mission and values, based on our 13 years of experience of building communities in this way. We explore our faith as fellow LGBT+ Christians - and to share and celebrate together at least once a month. These celebrations are usually a Communion service. We’ve also developed services and resources for all times of our church year, and our LGBT+ community calendar, as well as significant moments in our lives (baptism and renaming, coming out, relationship commitments, funeral and memorial services).
Open Table community members rated their well-being before and after joining an OTN community. After joining, the average rating showed a 40% improvement.
56% said being LGBT+ is a barrier to belonging in a faith community.
92% said being in an OTN community increased their sense of belonging.
87% feel less isolated and more socially connected.
97% said being part of an OTN community contributed to an improvement in their lives.
Why do so many people still want to continue with their Christian life, even if they feel the church has treated them badly?
Some don’t – they might walk away, never to return. Some of us do, because we might see that our experience of God is bigger than the institution of the church, or that we feel called to be part of the change we want to see. The Scottish minister and hymnwriter John Bell, who’s now also a patron of the Open Table Network, inspired us with this call to action, made in a talk at the Greenbelt festival where he came out as gay:
Those of us who… know the love of God cannot stay silent!
- John Bell, Rampant Heterosexualism, Greenbelt 2017
That’s why I believe in the role of communities like Open Table, to show that you can be authentically LGBT+ and Christian. We are a worshipping community first and foremost - if we can inform and educate about the diversity of God’s creation in humanity, just by being present at the table alongside others who may feel challenged by our presence, so much the better for all of us.
Do you think, as the Network expands, that the majority of British churches will start to change direction like the Methodists?
It’s not inevitable, but there are interesting developments:
Church of England: Just yesterday, Bishop of Liverpool Paul Bayes, who is also a Patron of the Open Table Network, gave a speech calling for the Church of England to recognise same-sex marriage, with a ‘gender-neutral marriage canon’ and church ceremonies, like in the US and Scottish Episcopal Churches. Meanwhile some threaten to leave if changes are made, or even if they aren’t made. But the CofE is still in the midst of the Living In Love And Faith process, and the outcome of that won’t be known til sometime next year.
Church in Wales: Currently bound by the same rules as the Church of England, though it’s not the established church there. Late last year, their Bishops published proposals to authorise formal blessings in church of same-sex partnerships and marriages.
Church of Scotland: At their General Assembly last month, they began a process similar to the Methodists, of approving draft legislation to allow ministers to marry same-sex couples if they wish. It will go out to consultation among local churches, and return for a second vote in May 2021.
Roman Catholic Church: Despite more caring and pastoral comments about gay people from Pope Francis, including apparent support for same-sex civil partnerships, the office responsible for defending Catholic doctrine said in March this year that ‘The Church does not have the power to bless same-sex unions’ because it is ‘impossible’ for God to ‘bless sin’. They also note that this ‘does not imply a judgment on persons’ involved, though that’s not how many of us heard that. There have been protests in Germany, as some parishes in recent months have started giving blessings to people in same-sex relationships as a way to welcome gay Catholics to the church.
Will ministers be obliged to conduct same-sex marriages if they don’t agree?
Some may be fearful that, if they don’t agree with conducting same-sex marriages, they will be forced to support such measures. This is unfounded - the law in England and Wales explicitly prevents it. There’s been no legal precedent anywhere in the world for a minister being compelled to conduct a same-sex wedding, and that’s in 20 years since the Netherlands became the first country to offer legal same-sex marriages.
