This is my story: Called anyway
Jo (right) with her wife Georgina.
“The early Church was full of people preaching and leading long before there were formal structures. God has always worked through those the system overlooks, resists or excludes.”
‘This is my story’ is an occasional series of short devotions, based around the Bible, the experiences of Open Table members, reflection and prayer.
This month Jo Miller, the leader of our Open Table Colchester community, reflects on how God has always worked through those the system overlooks, resists or excludes.
Reading
‘…for the gifts and the calling of God are irrevocable.’
– Romans 11:29 NRSVA
Reflection
Sometimes I wonder why God keeps increasing my sense of calling to ministry, when the Church won’t allow me to move forward with ordination. I’m a gay woman, married to the love of my life, yet that love is seen by the Church of England not as a gift, but as a barrier.
I entered the vocational discernment process two years ago, heavily encouraged by our parish clergy. All seemed to be going well… until I announced that I would be marrying my then-partner, Georgina. This meant I had to be removed from the discernment process.
It felt, and still feels, incredibly cruel; like being told there’s something beautiful behind a door… only to find the door locked. It’s taken a lot of work, but gradually, I’ve started to see it differently. God’s call doesn’t depend on institutional permission. The early Church was full of people preaching and leading long before there were formal structures. God has always worked through those the system overlooks, resists or excludes.
Romans 11:29 says ‘…for the gifts and the calling of God are irrevocable.’ They cannot be cancelled, just because others refuse to recognise them. My call is not invalidated because someone in authority says ‘no’. It’s valid because God says ‘yes’.
I believe there are people who need to hear the Gospel from someone like me, who knows what it is to be both faithful and excluded - someone who knows that God’s love includes those the Church often struggles to accept.
These words from Romans remind me that the Church may falter in recognising what God is doing, but God does not falter. Our faithfulness matters. Our voice matters. And even in exclusion, our calling is still alive. It isn’t undone by institutional rules or cultural resistance.
The calling remains - because it was never rooted in human permission, but in divine grace. So I will keep on preaching. I may not wear a collar - but I do carry a calling. And that, for now, is enough.
Reflect for a moment:
What is God calling you to do?
When have you felt excluded because of who you are?
What does God tell you about who you are?
Prayer
Loving Creator,
thank you for making me just as I am,
in your image.
Help me to appreciate others for their differences,
and lead me not into conflict,
but instead into compassion,
showing the same love that you show us.
In Jesus’ name,
Amen.
Author
Jo Miller (she/her) is a full-time retail manager, an authorised preacher in the Church of England, and co-founder of the Open Table Colchester community.
