Appreciating Open Table: Creating an inclusive, safe, sacred space to ‘come as you are’
24 Open Table community members from Liverpool, Warrington, Manchester and North Wales met at St John’s URC Warrington for an Appreciating Open Table day. Click on the image to enlarge it.
“I’ve felt comfortable inviting friends and family to join us at Open Table no matter what their beliefs, sexuality, gender or background.”
ON SATURDAY 2nd JULY 2016, members of Open Table Liverpool met representatives of the Open Table communities in Warrington, Manchester and North Wales, for an 'Appreciating Open Table' day, to help us discern our core values, how we share our vision, and where we want to go in the next three years.
Kieran from Open Table Liverpool hosted the day with the support of Tim Slack from Appreciating People as part of Appreciating Church
a Christian ecumenical project which aims to encourage the church at a local and national level to engage people in an inclusive way, listening to ‘all the voices’, building on our existing strengths and skills, counting our blessings and co-creating a resilient church as part of the kingdom of Heaven.
Here is Kieran’s report on the day.
Context:
St Bride’s Liverpool relaunched in November 2007 with a vision for a ‘creative, progressive, inclusive’ community. Open Table (OT) is a Fresh Expression which began soon afterwards as a manifestation of this vision.
It started as a monthly service, usually a Eucharist, aiming to create a safe, sacred space with a warm and affirming welcome for people who are Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Trans, Queer / Questioning, Intersex & Asexual (LGBTQIA+), who have traditionally not been well served by mainstream church.
At an early meeting to plan the first services, a member asked: ‘Will it be “open table”?’ (i.e. welcoming everyone to share in the Eucharist). Sadly, this is because LGBTQIA+ Christians have often either felt or been intentionally excluded from the Eucharist. We felt this was at the heart of why this community was needed, so the OT ecumenical worshipping community began in July 2008 with a mix of Anglicans, Roman Catholics, URC and Methodist folk, and has since involved people from a wide range of denominations.
Our primary goal is to explore faith amongst LGBTQIA+ Christians, and assist them in integrating their spiritual and sexual or gender identities – as for some these have been in direct conflict. We also welcome and affirm family members, friends and all who believe in an inclusive church.
To create this sacred space, which has a real sense of God’s presence where all can ‘come as you are’, we have explored liturgy, carefully choosing resources and constructing services that affirm our identity as children of God. The Liverpool community has also gathered for occasional retreats, house groups and sharing circles to help build a supportive community, and now meets for a monthly bring and share agape meal as well as the monthly Eucharist.
In 2012 St Bride’s District Church Council formalised the OT leadership by creating the role of LGBTQIA+ Ministry Facilitator (which Warren undertook with Kieran’s support). OT in Liverpool has grown from a gathering of around half a dozen in 2008 to regularly drawing up to 40 people each month.
In 2015, other OT gatherings began to emerge – at the time of writing, there are also active groups in Warrington, Manchester and north Wales, with new groups starting in St Helens and Wigan, and enquiries from several other communities regionally and nationally. Each is independent, but we offer peer support, encouragement and learning from our experience.
In March 2016, the Archdeacon of Liverpool commissioned Warren and Kieran as Local Missional Leaders to support and develop ministry among the LGBTQIA+ community. As part of this commission, we need to produce a three-year plan for the development of OT in Liverpool, and ensure that the emerging OT communities are safe, sustainable, and share the same vision. So we identified the need for some community development work to enable this. As we were both part of the St Bride’s AI process, we approached Appreciating People to co-facilitate this. Appreciating People helps make positive change happen through an Appreciative Inquiry (AI) approach, which focuses on strengths and what works and what we’re good at. To read more about AI, visit: appreciatingpeople.co.uk/what-is-ai.
Our AI process:
At a preliminary meeting with Appreciating People, we agreed that the desired outcomes of the day were to identify:
What OT does well
How OT contributes to people’s spiritual life
OT’s core intentions and values
What OT needs to do differently
Practical guidelines for developing OT, especially in new communities.
We briefed the leadership of each OT community to identify people who wanted to take part in this ‘Appreciating Open Table’ process, and met two members of each community to give them a taste of the AI process using three of the questions that became part of the final questionnaire used on the day.
On Saturday 2nd July 2016, 24 members of the OT communities in Liverpool, Manchester, Warrington and North Wales came together to work on sharing our vision and values to guide the direction of OT over the next three years. Six of those who could not attend were interviewed in advance, and we shared quotes from their conversations to help us illustrate some of the exercises on the day:
‘Openness for all’
‘Welcoming – I came by myself, and was greeted warmly’
‘The level of genuine excitement to see me was breath-taking – a sense of people being really pleased to see me.’
‘To be open to the different parts of myself co-existing has brought me closer to God, knowing that I am accepted.’
‘People can come with no fear and be completely themselves, to worship God with like-minded people. You can be closer to God when others accept you.’
‘Always inclusion – I’ve felt comfortable inviting friends and family to join us at OT no matter what their beliefs, sexuality, gender or background.’
We invited people to pair up with someone they would like to know better (as OT is an increasingly dispersed community, some had not met before). They answered two ‘firestarter’ questions, which demonstrate key themes:
1. Why is the OT community important to you?
Welcome & Hospitality:
‘A really intentional and successfully welcoming community, warm and friendly.’
Safety:
‘Safe place to be honest: to myself, my community, God.’
‘Safe space to meet and worship.’
Acceptance & Inclusion:
‘I was glad it was there when I needed it, needed to feel accepted.’
‘inclusivity, feeling accepted to worship.’
‘Inclusion, total acceptance, open communion, unconditional love & support.’
‘A spiritual inclusive community, open to change and personal growth.’
‘I am searching for a truly inclusive Eucharistic Christian community.’
‘Supportive. Accepted me. Let me know it’s fine to be a gay Christian.’
Honesty & Integrity:
‘Finally able to attend church and not have to lie!’
‘Important to worship as myself.’
‘Openness, Freedom of speech.’
‘Being able to worship God without a label.’
Friendship & Family:
‘It is family. New friends. Enabled me to grow spiritually.’
‘Open to all – great to have been able to bring my mum along for support, and to meet new friends in the community.’
‘Made friends, broadened my spiritual life. OT has been my family, helped me come out, and meet diverse people.’
Spirituality & Opportunity:
‘To further a journey in spirituality.’
‘To further, explore and affirm difference.’
‘Fresh & just view, opportunity for the church.’
‘I’m here to connect people with God. God will do the rest.’
2. What do you hope we will achieve today?
Growth & potential:
‘Open, inclusive communities, growth & safety.’
‘Gain skills in introducing OT to the Birchwood area.’
‘To build OT Manchester into something larger.’
‘A widening of our community, regular Eucharist, social support.’
‘Further the cause of people on the asexuality spectrum.’
‘A development of OT as a place of sharing personal journey, and seeking personal growth.’
‘I hope to set up my own OT, and the be able to present a set of values and ideas for an OT structure to the church will be great!’
Clarity:
’I want a bit of clarity about the direction of OT North Wales’.
‘Clear OT values & vision for the future.’
Spiritual discernment:
God is present & guiding.’
‘To discern God’s will for OT & ensure voices are heard in a safe & affirming way.’
Common ground / shared learning:
‘More of the same.’
‘To explore common ground.’
‘Working out core values and how they can be spread.’
‘To learn more from this extraordinary gathering that people are putting so much into.’
‘Have the value of OT and hopefully share it with whoever would like to take it.’
‘Hope to be an activist, Hope for a wide spread of the OT gospel to more communities. Hope to see more LGBTQIA+ people come out and share experiences.’
People got into groups of six to share common themes on ‘How Open Table makes a difference to me’, ‘How Open Table supports your spiritual life’, and Open Table’s core values.
People stayed with the same partner for a paired conversation of seven questions, then each pair got into groups of six to share common themes from three of the questions:
a) How OT makes a difference to me:
Welcome & Hospitality:
‘Warm friendly welcome.’
‘Not ‘cliquey’ – open to all, regardless of whether LGBTQIA+ or not.’
‘Good to feel accepted, respected, welcome as I am.’
‘Making new friends.’
Safety:
‘Gives a safe space so we are able to grow.’
Acceptance & Inclusion:
‘Treated as a second class citizen, not allowed communion (before OT).’
‘Affirming, valued, accepted.’
‘Embracing difference.’
‘Endorsement as a person.’
‘Lack of pressure to conform.’
‘Wasn’t sure church would accept gender fluidity.’
‘No dress code.’
‘No compromise – I must feel that all of me is accepted and welcome into church.’
Honesty & Integrity:
‘Don’t have to hide yourself.’
‘Telling the truth.’
‘Spiritually, refusing to lie about sexuality.’
‘Great to be able to be me.’
Empowerment:
‘Mental health – positive impact.’
‘Open my eyes to the potential of all people.’
‘Acceptance, support & empowerment.’
‘Good to get people involved.’
‘Being asked to do tasks helps me feel valued.’
Spirituality & Opportunity:
‘Pleased to find LGBTQIA+ people of faith.’
‘Inclusive worship.’
‘360o liturgy.’
‘Helps in reaching out to others, promoting the group.’
‘Helped me bring others back to faith.’
‘Community – living with body, mind & spirit.’
‘Good that OT is part of the ‘normal’ life of the church.’
‘Growth of OT developing new areas.’
‘Opportunity to develop a space in church to be accepting and open to the use of gifts.’
b) How OT supports your spiritual life:
Safety & Sustainability:
‘Safe space.’
‘Stays there for us.’
Openness:
‘No spiritual boxes.’
‘Openness to where people are.’
‘Really improved my prayer life – getting used to open prayer.’
Loving and Engaging:
‘Giving & receiving love – all descending from God.’
‘Engaging sermons & spirituality, not “religious entertainment”.’
Scripture:
‘Opening up scripture – looking at wider picture.’
‘Understanding scripture – not constrained to traditional interpretation.’
‘Gospel values lived out - Fully open to the Gospel.’
Inclusivity & Integration:
‘Have faith & spiritual life again – felt lost before.’
‘Express full spirituality.’
‘Moving away from binary (male/female) liturgy.’
‘Being connected.’ ‘Communion irrespective of denomination.’
‘Provide a Eucharist for those who might otherwise be excluded.’
‘Gives me a good balance between my faith and my sexuality.’
‘Proves that being LGBTQIA and being a Christian are not mutually exclusive.’
‘Helps me understand we are all created in God’s image, regardless of sexuality or gender.’
‘Supporting the faith of older people.’
Honesty & Integrity:
‘Integration of welcome & worship.’
‘Crucial that we are able to be truthful about ourselves.
c) Open Table’s core values:
Safety:
‘Safe space.’
Accepting:
‘Respect for all.’
‘Non-judgemental.’
‘Supporting & valuing people.’
‘Love people for who they are.’
Inclusive:
‘Inclusive Church model.’
‘Welcoming, accepting, inclusive, open.’
‘Shared human struggles – all supported, no ‘boxes’, shared humanity.’
Empowering:
‘Equip people.’
‘Need to be more than just diverse but include, support, encourage active role & use of gifts.’
Openness:
‘Open to all.’
‘Open Communion.’
‘Sharing communion, equally valuing every person.’
‘Selflessness.’
‘Sincerity.’
‘Outward facing - community outreach.’
‘Ecumenical – for all Christian denominations.’
‘Non-denominational.’
‘Interfaith’
‘Multi-faith dialogue.’
‘Supporting outsiders, supporting groups overseas.’
‘Break down barriers.’
‘Act as a gateway to reconnect people with their faith.’
‘Open to anyone, including asylum seekers.’
‘Not prescriptive.’
‘Non-evangelising.’
Spirituality:
‘God-centred.’
‘Celebrate feast days.’
‘Celebrate LGBTQIA+ days.’
‘Leading the way, supporting faith of people of all ages, bringing body, mind & spirit together in community.’
After lunch we asked the same groups to get creative - following a guided meditation where we asked them to imagine that it is summer 2019 and we have gathered again to celebrate the growth and achievements of the OT community, each group shared their vision of:
What is different?
What has happened in the journey to this day?
What have been the challenges?
What have we achieved and what has been our success?
What are the ways we have helped people?
One group presented through drama how OT has helped people on their spiritual journey by being holistic - bringing body, mind and spirit together as we celebrate our lives as beloved children of God.
A second group portrayed people from diverse communities gathered under one large rainbow umbrella in the OT family, with the slogan: ‘All different, all together’.
A third group showed a row of people spread out across the land, connected together like pylons, linked ‘power lines’ of shared values.
They also made predictions that, in their vision of 2019:
Both CofE and URC now support same-sex marriage
Larger numbers of OT groups with regional committees
Basis of OT remains fundamentally the same
General shift in social attitudes, increased visibility
Movement towards integration rather than emerging church in its own right
Instrumental in Ministerial Formation by informing training on gender and sexuality.
The last group created a scene with a rainbow of people from OT communities across the country gathering for an LGBTQIA+ Christian community festival. Their artwork showed 10 communities, represented by each colourful paper figure. They also depicted a storm cloud overhead, representing the challenges we faced, and a rainbow breaking through, representing our diversity and achievements.
Some inspiring images to motivate us to achieve this vision!
We concluded by asking people to summarise what the values of OT are or should be, distilling and prioritising what they shared above, and what guidelines or tasks they would suggest for each OT group, especially those which are emerging, based on all we have shared so far.
Values:
Welcoming
Safe space
God-centred
Respect
Communion/Table fellowship/ Open Eucharistic community
Inclusive/Inclusivity/Inclusive Church
Non-denominational / interdenominational
Accessible
Openness
Togetherness
Sincerity
Selflessness
Gateway
Barrier-free
Celebrate & value diversity
Empowering group
Care for all ages
Integration / Integrating the whole person – body/mind/spirit.
Guidelines & Tasks for OT groups:
Find affirming host community as a base
Safe space
Be accessible e.g. transport
Maintain continuity of time and place
Church stays true to itself
No church pursues own agenda but stays under wider OT umbrella
Seek advice / Take advantage of OT network support, guidance and accountability to prevent the cult of personality
Respond to local needs and abilities
Think globally, act locally – vision in small steps.
Use inclusive language in speaking with people and in liturgy
Community
Network
Make sure all are fed
Listen to others
Open minded
Prayer
Be clear about money - is there a collection? Where does the money go? Avoid financial pressure to contribute.
Cake at every meeting!
Next steps:
At the OT Eucharist at St Bride’s Liverpool in August 2016, part of the liturgy was created using quotes from the paired appreciative conversations:
Open Table has helped me believe - Prayers adapted from the words of Open Table community members.
Open Table Liverpool order of service August 2016 - Incorporating these prayers.
This was a way of feeding back to the wider OT community what their representatives shared on the Appreciating Open Table day. We shared this resource with the other OT facilitators to help them communicate to their communities some feedback from the day.
At the time of writing, we are reviewing and refining all the feedback we received to produce a statement of OT’s vision and values to which each community can subscribe, and action points for our development plan. We will consult with each community and expect to have the finished version available later this year.
