A VIGIL in support of same-sex marriage in the Church of England took place last Sunday in Liverpool, in which members from several Open Table communities across the North-West shared stories, prayers, and questions with their bishop, who took part in the event.

Revd Cate Jacobs, a long-term member of the first Open Table community in Liverpool shared this powerful reflection on identity, sexuality, relationships and marriage.

Then God said, ‘Let us make humankind in our image, according to our likeness’

- Genesis 1:26 [NRSVA]

In me the image of God is a woman.
In me the image of God is a mother, a grandmother, a lover, a friend.
In me the image of God is neuro-divergent.
In me the image of God is HIV positive.
In me the image of God is pansexual.
In me the image of God is a priest.
The image of God is in me - it moulded and shaped me in my mother’s womb.
I was born this way - reflecting the image of God.

Too often the image of God has been diminished in me by the attitudes and prejudices held within the Church. When the image of God is constricted, disdained, or despised in me - which it has been more times than I’d care to count - God is made smaller in the world, squashed into a box of doctrine, theology, and interpretation.

And the God I know is wild and free! Omnipotent.

So when I sat on the steps of The Well in Liverpool Cathedral and my girlfriend asked me to marry her… I had no choice but to say no - because I would not betray her, or our love, by pretending to live by the Church of England’s Issues In Human Sexuality. And even though she said she was willing to live according to the requirements of the church, I could not. I could not lay beside her night after night with unexpressed desire in my heart and my body - for it would turn to a canker between us; if I were to lay beside her, I wanted it to be in the fullness of ‘with my body I thee worship’ or not at all.

And the irony of all of this as we sat facing Tracey Emin’s pink neon:

‘I felt you and I knew you loved me.’

As a priest, the idea of ‘mutual flourishing’ in the church is a mockery when it becomes a get-out clause for prejudice and injustice. How can I as a queer priest, mutually flourish alongside of those in my Deanery Chapter, who have openly said they believe I am leading others along the road to hell by using Prayers of Love and Faith to bless same-sex marriages - which they fundamentally believe to be sinful?

A recent Deanery Chapter meeting left me traumatised for days and seriously considering what spaces in the church I am willing to engage in and with.

And the truth is, despite the fact I have the most exceptional support from the Rector of my parish, there is only one space where I have ever felt safe enough, and that is at Open Table.

I was blessed to be invited to preside at an Open Table communion service shortly after I was ordained as a priest. I felt affirmed by God and supported and celebrated by my community, who accept and uphold that:

In me the image of God is a woman, a mother, a grandmother, a lover, a friend.
In me the image of God is a neuro-divergent, HIV positive, pansexual priest!