OTN TRUSTEE Augustine Tanner-Ihm reflects on the experience of being uninvited from a student ministry outreach event because of his involvement with the Open Table Network, and being targeted with a racial slur at a gay club.

When I arrived in Manchester last summer, I knew that I wanted to establish friendships with other Christian church leaders, and within my new-found sport of rugby.

I began to experience such friendly faces, people who were open, honest and authentic. I began to make friends within the inclusive rugby team and the inclusive church I help to lead.

After some time, I began to meet more Christian leaders who work with students as I do. I was invited to meet with them to pray, read the Bible and reach out to students on the many campuses in Greater Manchester. This meeting has been an encouragement for me. They are all very passionate about seeing the Gospel transform the lives of people, and caring pastorally for students as they experience young adulthood, perhaps away from family for the first time. I have cried and laughed with these amazing leaders.

Last month, one of the leaders was explaining plans for outreach events for students to hear and respond to the Gospel in a safe and contextual place. I was extremely excited about this. I told the leader that I didn’t get the email with the times and places to help at the events. He told me he didn’t have my email address, which I found very strange, but I took him at his word. He said ‘Let’s chat after prayer’.

After the meeting, we went to one side of the room, and he said something that caught me off guard. He said, ‘Aren’t you associated with the Open Table Network?’ I confirmed that I am. He explained to me that his organization has a doctrine statement which says they ‘believe in the Bible’, and because of that I was asked not to come to the event at all. I was in shock, but I put on a professional ‘English’ face (not easy for me as an African-American) and said, ‘Okay’, then he left for another appointment.

I was taken aback by the way this unfolded. It reminded me of the dreaded ‘coffee conversation’ in a public coffee shop. It’s a scene that many LGBTQIA+ Christians have experienced. Usually, the minister takes you out to buy you a coffee to sit you down and chat with you about the evils of the ‘lifestyle’ and ‘what the Bible says’. It’s what many of us have experienced in Evangelical contexts. The trauma and pain that happens after these meetings can be hard to process with those who have never had this experience. I’ve had experiences of exclusion like this, which I buried because my current reality is inclusive.

Then came my birthday party later that week. While waiting with my friends on a cold, rainy night in a long line to get into a city centre nightclub for a celebration, I was called a ‘nigger’ by a white gay man. When confronted about this blatant racism, he did not care. This statement ruined my night. It reminded me again of intersectionality (the way discrimination and disadvantage because of different characteristics such as sexuality, race and religion are linked). Three very important part of my identity are consistently being contested.

Being a person of colour, who is also queer and Christian, can mean constantly trying to find a place to belong. I use the word ‘belonging’ because that is a part of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, which supports the healthy development of people. As a Christian I know I am a beloved child of God, but as I enter my 32nd year of life, I’m still trying to find who I am. Maybe the quest for belonging and relationship is not a destination but merely a life adventure. God is using me to make spaces for people to be themselves, and not have to negotiate their identity.

The following weekend I preached on the prophet Obadiah, which gave me a deep appreciation for God’s justice and mercy. In this short book of the Old Testament, the nation of Edom, a long-time enemy of Israel, is severely criticised for refusing to help Israel repel foreigners who invaded and conquered Jerusalem. The people of Edom thought themselves greater than they actually were; great enough to mock, steal from, and even harm the people of Israel. 

Through all the events that happened in that week of exclusion, continuing to align my heart with God’s helped me feel to included. God’s plan for the nations and for everyone individually is a common relationship with him.

God’s mercy never fails. God is our hope and our defender and time of danger and struggle. This is where our belonging comes from.