Stones and bread, mourning and joy: A reflection for Trans Day of Remembrance
Alex Clare-Young is a Co-Chair of the Open Table Network. They advise our Trustees on theological, pastoral care, and safeguarding issues in consultation with the Trustees and the Network Co-ordinator.
Alex is also a minister in the United Reformed Church, currently ministering to an online community called Churspacious, and with the trans community. Alex's first book, Transgender. Christian. Human. was published in 2019 by Wild Goose.
WATCH Alex’s video intro to the Open Table Network [1.5 mins - UPDATED March 2022]
ON SATURDAY 20th November 2021 we are honouring Trans Day of Remembrance (TDOR for short).
TDoR is an annual observance in memory of the trans people who lost their lives through acts of anti-trans violence in the past year. Here our Co-Chair Alex Clare-Young shares a reflection for this year:
It seems to be becoming harder, not easier, to be a trans person. Around the world, political, societal, and religious realities mean that trans lives are more often judged than respected, more often trampled under feet than treasured. And yet, trans people are increasingly sharing narratives of euphoria rather than dysphoria; joy rather than mourning; resilience rather than resignation. We are asking for bread, rather than stones. This isn’t an easy shift though. Nor is it a sign that our lives aren’t difficult, our dysphoria isn’t real. Rather, trans people are increasingly trying to rewrite our own stories. We are knocking on your door; will you answer? We are seeking help; will we find it?
‘Hang on,’ you might protest, ‘we have been through a pandemic and Brexit, and are experiencing increasing poverty and division. Don’t we have enough to deal with?’ And there are, indeed, countless tugs on our resources of time, energy, and money. Nevertheless, our reading today calls us to be active, rather than passive. One of the hardest questions to answer is the question of why God allows injustice to continue. This reading is clear, though, that we have a role, a responsibility, in creating a just world. We have to keep knocking until those in power give all people bread, not stones. We must keep opening doors, until those who close them give up. Trans people are asking for bread, and we are still being given stones.
In the UK, where I live, 76% of non-binary people, like me, said that they avoid expressing their gender identity out in public for fear of negative reactions and/or abuse and a third had experienced hate crimes. And this is before we even consider the trans lives lost to violence and hatred worldwide, which also disproportionately affects women, feminine people, Black and Brown people, young people and poor people. In other words, the trans lives lost are indicative of the patterns of intersectional oppression against which we must take a stand. We must say their names. And we must feel the heartbreak of those who love the people whose names are still unknown.
The story of JJ and Jasmine is a heart-rending example of what we have lost. Jeffrey ‘JJ’ Bright, a 16-year-old trans boy, and his sister Jasmine Cannady, a 22-year-old non-binary person, were killed in Pennsylvania in their own home. Jeffrey was known for his laugh and his jokes. Jasmine was described as ‘a sweet, shy and artistic soul’ as well as a deeply caring friend. Their favourite quote was ‘Don’t let anyone bring you down. Don’t let people tell you that you can’t do anything in life. You mean something.’ And so, with JJ and Jasmine in mind, I ask you again: We are knocking on your door; will you answer? We are seeking help; will we find it?